The King of Nut-Gatherers is here. Thick, fluffy, and flame-grilled... wait, no—just incredibly lively and ready for your backyard.
We don't just sell squirrels. We sell high-performance woodland athletes.
Our squirrels are trained in high-intensity nut-retrieval maneuvers. They move faster than a drive-thru order.
No fillers. No artificial preservatives. Just pure, organic, bushy-tailed goodness in every unit.
Every squirrel comes with a crown and a lifetime guarantee of tree-climbing excellence.
Pick from Flying, Ground, or the Classic Red. Customize the temperament.
Delivered in our signature ventilated "Whopper" crates for maximum comfort.
"I used to have a boring garden. Now it's a high-octane squirrel arena. 10/10 would buy another unit."
"The shipping was faster than the squirrel itself. He arrived wearing a tiny crown. Magnificent."
"Forget dogs. Our warehouse squirrel, 'Flame-Broiler', guards the perimeter with unmatched agility."